Week of November 12-18 Question# 3

3). Pick one concept from the reading this week and discuss it in detail.

I think one of the most important things we learned this week is maintaining equity in family relationships. A lot of families do not have equality among all of the family members. Most of the time the decision maker is either one or both of the parents. I grew up in a family where my dad was always the decision maker. My mom, brother, and sister never got to say anything about the decisions my dad made. He was always really stubborn and sometimes he'd make a mistake but thankfully his decisions benefited the family. In this part of the chapter, Woods talks about the social exchange theory. This theory states that "as long as your rewards outweigh your costs, the net outcome of the relationship is positive, so you are satisfied" (Woods). I believe this is very important for making any family happy. As long as the social exchange theory is applied to everyone in the family, then no one can complain :)

Week of November 12-18 Question #2

2). In this chapter, you have read about some of the ways in which marriage has changed over time.  Based on cultural trends and evolving values of your generation, what changes in marriage would you predict over the next 50 years? 

I think one of the biggest things that is going to change is gay/lesbian marriage. Definitely, within 50 years I believe that same sex marriage will be approved over most or all the states. I also believe that we will slowly lose cultural trends. From being a second generation Asian-american, I've seen my parents and grandparents cultural trends come to a halt. My cousins and older siblings do not wish to carry on the traditions that my elders had practiced. It's sad to see all of this happening but I think new traditions will evolve from these families. I don't think there will be many traditions that are passed down the family but small traditions that is unique to each family. I think we lose cultural trends and traditions because we live in America's melting pot. All of our cultures collide and we have such diversity that we are influenced by many cultures. We get stuck between american culture and our other culture so we cannot decide between the two, leading to an end of some traditions and carrying on others.

Week of November 12-18 Question #1

1). How do you define family?  What do family members do for each other? Which types of relationships discussed in this chapter do and do not fit your definition? 

I like to think of family as a group of people that accept you for who you are and will always be there for you. No matter what happens, they are still there to forgive and aid you when you need help. Family members are respectful to each other. I believe that respect is a very important part in family because without it, there would be hostility towards each other. I also think that family members always forgive each other. I know forgiving can sometimes be very difficult but we all make mistakes. Our friends won't always forgive us but i know i can definitely count on family to be there for me, no matter what the circumstances are. My definition of family wasn't exactly as related to the books definition but i do agree with that a family involves a marriage and cohabitation. I think that giving up your last name for your significant other is a very big step and marriages show that kind of commitment. Family isn't as easy as one living with another for a long period of time. I believe it's actually connecting each other and marriages allow for that to happen.

Week of November 5-11 Question# 3

3). Pick one concept from the reading this week and discuss it in detail.

"Passion describes intensely positive feelings and fervent desire for another person" (Woods). The beautiful thing about passion is that it isn't restricted to sexual feelings. Passion is the beginning of any relationships because it describes exactly how we feel about a person and for what reasons. Although passion isn't the base and structure that holds relationships together, i believe that it is important to realize that we all have different passions that we should live up to. Often times, passion is lost due to social media and peer pressure. We fall for people who are the hottest, coolest, and most respected. We lose our own definition of who we want due to peer pressure. Definitely, there are people out there that are looking for others that reflect on their passions but the influence of others has impaired our ability to do so. I believe if we pursue our passions, we will find the right one for us. We can't rely or look up to outside influences, it is our life and we should get what we want.

Week of November 5-11 Question # 2

2). Have you experienced relationships in which love or commitment, but not both, were present?  Describe relationships in which there was commitment but not love.  What can you conclude about the impact of each? 

I have experienced different relationships that love and commitment were present. In the love relationship, there was definitely a lot of commitment that was involved. I spent about 2 years with this person and I have to admit that she was my first love and i had never been so committed to anything else in my life. For the relationships that there were commitment but not love, these relationships apply mostly to all of my friends. There are some friends that we choose to stick with and there are the other friends that we do not care about as much. These commitment relationships are tough just as any other relationships but we can distinguish if a commitment is worth of the relationships. Commitment relationships are similar to love relationships because love relationships have so much commitment within it. I believe the impact of commitment relationships are not as devastating as love relationships but that doesn't mean it won't hurt. There have been times where i have been very sad about friends that i have lost due to conflicts, distance, and other factors in each others lives. 

Week of November 5-11 Question # 1

1). Some critics (Van Gelder, 1991, Stone, 1996) of online communities believe that there is greater potential for deceit in online relationships than in face-to-face ones.  They point out that in online relationships, people may misrepresent their appearance, sex, sexual orientation, and so forth.  Do you think it is ethical for people to represent themselves inaccurately?  Do you think that deception is more likely in online than in face-to-face interaction, or are different kinds of deception equally likely in the two kinds of interaction? 

Personally, I do not think it is ethical for people to represent themselves inaccurately but they have the right to do so. I have met people like that online and it makes me feel bad for them because they don't believe in their true self, so they act as someone else. There's a lot of unethical things that people do in this world, but most of the time it happens because they can most likely get away with it. I believe that deception is way more likely online than face to face because people have a screen to protect them, while face to face exposes our selves. We don't show emotions through our words but the expressions on our faces as well. I believe these expressions reflect on what we truly feel. I'm not talking about acting out expressions or faking it but the expressions that are almost like reflexes which reflect how we really feel. When we see someone face to face, i feel like a stronger bond is made between the two people. We take into account that we may see this person again and that if we do attempt to deceive them, they will know it is us. Many things like these affect our decision making in deceiving others.

Week of October 29 - November 4 Question #3

3). Pick one concept from the reading this week and discuss it in detail.

I think the most important concept in the reading this week was Trust. Trust is a very important and plays a very large role in how friendships will develop. If there is no trust between people, then their relationship will not thrive or grow as much as one that does have trust. Trust involves how much we will believe in someone. The lack of trust causes doubtfulness and it hinders the potential of relationships. I have had trust problems before, without trust i found it very difficult to stay in that friendship. I always questioned the other individual's credibility and how reliable they are. For me, once i lose that trust, the friendship will never be the same. We need to be able to communicate honestly because if we cannot do so, we will be stuck in questioning each other. I'm sure there are many other components to a friendship but i felt that trust is the most important one. As humans, we would rather be with the person that is credible than the person that isn't

Week of October 29 - November 4 Question #2

2). Think about someone who is a very close or best friend.  Describe the investments you and your friend have made in the relationship.  Describe how you build and communicate trust, acceptance, and closeness.  Are the dynamics of your friendship consistent with those identified by researchers as discussed in this chapter?

I have a friend that attends University of California Berkeley and I consider him my best friend. In our first year apart, we didn't do much to stay in contact but when the breaks came by, we still acted like best friends as if everything was back to normal. This second year, we started drifting a little but we both have made and effort in keeping in contact through Facebook and text messages. Sometimes one of us would visit the other person for a weekend and catch up. I believe that we built trust, acceptance, and closeness by hanging out and socializing with each other. Over summer, we hung out with our entire group of friends every single night. We made a pact that we would go out every single summer night possible. Although this was a crazy idea, this allowed us to bond a lot more and develop trust, comfortableness, and bringing us closer night by night.I believe our friendship is very consistent with ideas like Engaging in duel perspective and communicating honestly. In order for both of us to maintain a good friendship, we have to be equivalent to each other in ways like honesty or respecting each other's ideas. We know that we're still growing throughout college and we try to respect what has grown on us.

Week of October 29 - November 4 Discussion Question #1

1). To learn how others view friendships and what issues arise in their friendships, visit the Friendship Page.  This site offers songs, poetry, and quotes about Friendship, as well as chat rooms and an advice forum.  To what extent do the issues raised in the advice forum reflect challenges to friendship discussed in this chapter?


I found a post on the Friendship page about an individual who is afraid of losing his friend. His friend was being tormented and bullied around school and thought about moving. Afraid of losing his friend, the individual decided to post a poll about whether he should say anything to his friend who refuses to speak to him. From this, i saw that the external pressure: geographic distance was present because he was afraid of losing his friend due to distance. It's a little hard to find legitimate posts on this website but that was all i could find. A lot of these posts I think are ads or virus websites. It's sad to see people lose friends and it's even worst for any one of us to feel that pain. From the transition of high school to college, many of us have lost friends because of geographic distance. Long distance friendships/relationships are never easy and it takes a lot of effort to stay friends.