Week of October 15 - 21 Discussion Question #3

3). Pick one concept from the reading this week and discuss it in detail.

I think one of the most important concepts from this week's reading is "Actively Use Communication to Build Confirming Climates" This concept emphasizes the use of what we learned in this chapter to create positive communication climates. Although this is a very general concept, it allows us to think about what language we can avoid or use more often to create a confirming environment. These skills are necessary for life because it helps us achieve relationships that could possibly last for the rest of our lives. Whether it may be a friendship or a loved one, this is equally important to both. We need to remember to avoid using the six types of communication that promote defensive climates such as "Evaluation Versus Description" and "Control Versus Problem Orientation." In order for us to achieve confirming environments, it is essential for us to take that first step by putting effort into using communication that promotes confirming climates.

Week of October 15 - 21 Discussion Question #2

2). Think of an interaction in which you felt disconfirmed or defensive.  Describe how others in the situation communicated toward you.  How many of Gibb's defensiveness-producing communication behaviors can you identify as present in the situation? 

One of most memorable interactions i've had that was disconfirming was when i broke up with my significant other. We were dating for about 2 years and the halt to the relationship was shocking to me even though it was my decision. That night I had a talk with my friend and he gave me a disconfirming environment at first. I think he had his mind on a few other things going on in his life but his first response was "There's plenty of fish in the sea." This struck me pretty harshly and i didn't feel like venting to him anymore. Shortly, he realized what was actually going on and start confirming me more often but the first statement still had its impact. In this situation i believe "Neutrality versus Empathy" was present because he wasn't pushing a certain side. His response was very neutral but thankfully he changed his way of speaking to me to be more confirming.

Week of October 15 - 21 Discussion Question #1

1). Have you found it difficult to confirm others when you disagree with them?  If so, does reading this chapter help you distinguish between recognition, acknowledgement, and endorsement?  Can you distinguish between confirming others as people and endorsing particular ideas? 

Most of the time it was pretty easy for me to confirm others when i disagreed with them. The only hard cases were the individuals that were stubborn and hard headed. I feel like confirming stubborn people does not change their way of thinking and therefore it leads to disconfirming. At times, confirming will work but most of the people that i have conversed with that were stubborn were very hard to get through to. I try my best to be endorsing to others but sometimes it's really difficult to phrase our words in that sense. After reading this chapter, it's helped me be able to distinguish between confirming others as people and endorsing particular ideas. This chapter made me think back to the times where i gave advice to my friends and I see that most of the time i was only acknowledging them. Surprisingly, when i first decided to take this course, i didn't think i would retain much from this course but it's nice to see the chapters that we have read so far really impact my way of thinking!

Responding Sensitively

One of the most important things every human being can work on is communicating emotions. We are responsible for so many things in our lives that we forget how to communicate with emotions effectively. I have seen many examples of friends who come up to other friends and rant about their problems. Of course, the other friend comes up with a very common and average response "It'll be okay, just wait it out." This does not comfort the person, it just tells them "Yeah, i heard your story but i can't do much so i'll just tell you that you'll be alright." This concept really spoke to me because i have been in situations just like that and I got sick and tired of responses like that. It is understandable that sometimes we truly have nothing to say but at least try it phrase your sentencing so it gives them the feeling that they have someone there that cares for them. I try, with the best of my ability, to comfort my friends when they are in a time of need because sometimes we really just need a helping hand.

Week of October 1 - 7 Discussion Quest. #2

2). Review the fallacies discussed in the last section of this chapter.  Do any of these fallacies show up in your intrapersonal communication?  After reading about the fallacies and ways to challenge them, can you monitor and revise your intrapersonal communication?  

I know a little bit of every fallacy shows up in my intrapersonal communication but thankfully it is not severe in any certain category. If i were to pick one to work on, it would be fear of catastrophic failure. I have a slightly tendency to have a negative outlook on life and it affects my confidence and ability to achieve my goals. I'm already trying to work on this part of me by working harder and putting more successful accomplishments in my life to boost my self-confidence. I think the best way to conquer all of these fallacies is that remember you are human and responsible for others to a certain extent, mistakes happen and goals are never impossible to achieve. There is no point in thinking negatively about ourselves because it will only hold us back from our true potential. I'm sure all of us are amazing people but a lot of us are held back with these fallacies. 

Week of October 1 - 7 Discussion Quest. #1

1). The book discusses different perspective on emotions.  Which perspective - of what combination of several - makes the most sense to you?  Why?  Explain how the perspective you favor gives you insight into emotions that you don't get from other perspectives. 

I think the perceptual view of emotions makes the most sense to me because I believe we have to attach emotions to physiological reactions. Like the example in our textbook, "We might interpret trembling hands as a symbol of fear...Alternatively, we might interpret trembling hands as signifying joy on graduation day" (Wood, 174). I definitely agree with this because we have so many physiological reactions that can mean different things. I have felt so excited i was shaking but i've also felt so scared that i was shaking as well. This gives me more insight into emotions than the organismic view of emotions because while the organismic view can be true, the perceptual view allows us to define the process of interpreting the emotion clearer. Yes, it's true that the organismic view can be correct because when we feel that knot in our stomach, it could be a sign of sadness but it can only be interpreted through the perceptual view of emotions. The organismic view is based on reflexes while the perceptual view is based on interpretation, which i think is more precise.