Week of December 3 - 9 Discussion Question #3

3). Pick one concept from throughout the semester that you feel can use further discussion.

One concept that i felt that could use further discussion is engaging in dual perspective as a guideline for communication between friends. I feel that now a days, we fail to communicate honestly and fairly between our peers. We also tend to take friends for granted because that's how our society is. I think that the advances in technology have allowed us to overlook many complicated processes of how things are made, which has led to us becoming less thankful for the things we have. Engaging in dual perspective allows us to become more open minded about things that we encounter in our lives. Becoming open minded allows for many different opportunities and experiences for us to live through. Although these experiences can be bad, we always use the experience as a lesson to ourselves. Like most elders I've spoken to, they say "experience in life is very important and should be valued."

Week of December 3 - 9 Discussion Question #2

2). What was your favorite thing about the class?  What was your least favorite thing about the class?  How can this class be improved?  Again, be specific. 

My favorite thing about this class was that it was really easy and convenient to do work. I could separate my responsibilities and return to working on this class at a time when i saw best fit. In addition to being convenient, the course content is something that we shouldn't forget about within the next year (like most courses). I liked that this class was able to apply skills to reality because i feel that education is very effective and helpful when it can be applied to real life. This makes it easier to comprehend and understand while learning a bit more about the world. My least favorite thing about this class were the difficulties of the quizzes and the absence of a real life instructor. It isn't just helpful to have a real life instructor to answer questions you may have immediately but it helps students who learn better through visuals than online reading. I felt that some of the questions on the quiz were a bit tricky and some of the answers were very similar to each other, I was confused for some questions and seeing that 1 question was 5% of your quiz grade, i had a hard time deciding which answer would be more appropriate. I think this class could be improved by using a little more visual learning process. This is just an idea but maybe powerpoint presentations? I know the chapter wrap up posts are supposed to be in place of a lecture but power points allow for professors to go into a little more detail and gives us a small heads up of which concept is more important or likely to show up on a quiz. These are all small and minor things though, this course is devised out very simple and organized (through Professor Perez's blog idea). 

Week of December 3 - 9 Discussion Question #1

1). What have you learned in this class over the course of the semester?  Be specific.

I have learned that in order for us to develop successful relationships, we need to put in a generous amount of effort and time. Communication skills play a large role in career success and personal success. Having these skills allows us to communicate professionally, casually, and gives us the ability to adapt our tone of communication to different environments. These skills also allow us to portray ourselves as easily approachable and therefore opens up more opportunities to discover new friendships and relationships. Maintaining friendships and relationships are never easy but they are worth it in the end once we've established a stabilized friendship. Although relationships are hard to manage, they give us happiness and memories that we will always cherish. At first, i thought this class wouldn't be very useful or applicable to reality but it turns out i learned a lot about how we make friends and i started noticing the small details in communication that weren't apparent to me before.

Week of November 12-18 Question# 3

3). Pick one concept from the reading this week and discuss it in detail.

I think one of the most important things we learned this week is maintaining equity in family relationships. A lot of families do not have equality among all of the family members. Most of the time the decision maker is either one or both of the parents. I grew up in a family where my dad was always the decision maker. My mom, brother, and sister never got to say anything about the decisions my dad made. He was always really stubborn and sometimes he'd make a mistake but thankfully his decisions benefited the family. In this part of the chapter, Woods talks about the social exchange theory. This theory states that "as long as your rewards outweigh your costs, the net outcome of the relationship is positive, so you are satisfied" (Woods). I believe this is very important for making any family happy. As long as the social exchange theory is applied to everyone in the family, then no one can complain :)

Week of November 12-18 Question #2

2). In this chapter, you have read about some of the ways in which marriage has changed over time.  Based on cultural trends and evolving values of your generation, what changes in marriage would you predict over the next 50 years? 

I think one of the biggest things that is going to change is gay/lesbian marriage. Definitely, within 50 years I believe that same sex marriage will be approved over most or all the states. I also believe that we will slowly lose cultural trends. From being a second generation Asian-american, I've seen my parents and grandparents cultural trends come to a halt. My cousins and older siblings do not wish to carry on the traditions that my elders had practiced. It's sad to see all of this happening but I think new traditions will evolve from these families. I don't think there will be many traditions that are passed down the family but small traditions that is unique to each family. I think we lose cultural trends and traditions because we live in America's melting pot. All of our cultures collide and we have such diversity that we are influenced by many cultures. We get stuck between american culture and our other culture so we cannot decide between the two, leading to an end of some traditions and carrying on others.

Week of November 12-18 Question #1

1). How do you define family?  What do family members do for each other? Which types of relationships discussed in this chapter do and do not fit your definition? 

I like to think of family as a group of people that accept you for who you are and will always be there for you. No matter what happens, they are still there to forgive and aid you when you need help. Family members are respectful to each other. I believe that respect is a very important part in family because without it, there would be hostility towards each other. I also think that family members always forgive each other. I know forgiving can sometimes be very difficult but we all make mistakes. Our friends won't always forgive us but i know i can definitely count on family to be there for me, no matter what the circumstances are. My definition of family wasn't exactly as related to the books definition but i do agree with that a family involves a marriage and cohabitation. I think that giving up your last name for your significant other is a very big step and marriages show that kind of commitment. Family isn't as easy as one living with another for a long period of time. I believe it's actually connecting each other and marriages allow for that to happen.

Week of November 5-11 Question# 3

3). Pick one concept from the reading this week and discuss it in detail.

"Passion describes intensely positive feelings and fervent desire for another person" (Woods). The beautiful thing about passion is that it isn't restricted to sexual feelings. Passion is the beginning of any relationships because it describes exactly how we feel about a person and for what reasons. Although passion isn't the base and structure that holds relationships together, i believe that it is important to realize that we all have different passions that we should live up to. Often times, passion is lost due to social media and peer pressure. We fall for people who are the hottest, coolest, and most respected. We lose our own definition of who we want due to peer pressure. Definitely, there are people out there that are looking for others that reflect on their passions but the influence of others has impaired our ability to do so. I believe if we pursue our passions, we will find the right one for us. We can't rely or look up to outside influences, it is our life and we should get what we want.

Week of November 5-11 Question # 2

2). Have you experienced relationships in which love or commitment, but not both, were present?  Describe relationships in which there was commitment but not love.  What can you conclude about the impact of each? 

I have experienced different relationships that love and commitment were present. In the love relationship, there was definitely a lot of commitment that was involved. I spent about 2 years with this person and I have to admit that she was my first love and i had never been so committed to anything else in my life. For the relationships that there were commitment but not love, these relationships apply mostly to all of my friends. There are some friends that we choose to stick with and there are the other friends that we do not care about as much. These commitment relationships are tough just as any other relationships but we can distinguish if a commitment is worth of the relationships. Commitment relationships are similar to love relationships because love relationships have so much commitment within it. I believe the impact of commitment relationships are not as devastating as love relationships but that doesn't mean it won't hurt. There have been times where i have been very sad about friends that i have lost due to conflicts, distance, and other factors in each others lives. 

Week of November 5-11 Question # 1

1). Some critics (Van Gelder, 1991, Stone, 1996) of online communities believe that there is greater potential for deceit in online relationships than in face-to-face ones.  They point out that in online relationships, people may misrepresent their appearance, sex, sexual orientation, and so forth.  Do you think it is ethical for people to represent themselves inaccurately?  Do you think that deception is more likely in online than in face-to-face interaction, or are different kinds of deception equally likely in the two kinds of interaction? 

Personally, I do not think it is ethical for people to represent themselves inaccurately but they have the right to do so. I have met people like that online and it makes me feel bad for them because they don't believe in their true self, so they act as someone else. There's a lot of unethical things that people do in this world, but most of the time it happens because they can most likely get away with it. I believe that deception is way more likely online than face to face because people have a screen to protect them, while face to face exposes our selves. We don't show emotions through our words but the expressions on our faces as well. I believe these expressions reflect on what we truly feel. I'm not talking about acting out expressions or faking it but the expressions that are almost like reflexes which reflect how we really feel. When we see someone face to face, i feel like a stronger bond is made between the two people. We take into account that we may see this person again and that if we do attempt to deceive them, they will know it is us. Many things like these affect our decision making in deceiving others.

Week of October 29 - November 4 Question #3

3). Pick one concept from the reading this week and discuss it in detail.

I think the most important concept in the reading this week was Trust. Trust is a very important and plays a very large role in how friendships will develop. If there is no trust between people, then their relationship will not thrive or grow as much as one that does have trust. Trust involves how much we will believe in someone. The lack of trust causes doubtfulness and it hinders the potential of relationships. I have had trust problems before, without trust i found it very difficult to stay in that friendship. I always questioned the other individual's credibility and how reliable they are. For me, once i lose that trust, the friendship will never be the same. We need to be able to communicate honestly because if we cannot do so, we will be stuck in questioning each other. I'm sure there are many other components to a friendship but i felt that trust is the most important one. As humans, we would rather be with the person that is credible than the person that isn't

Week of October 29 - November 4 Question #2

2). Think about someone who is a very close or best friend.  Describe the investments you and your friend have made in the relationship.  Describe how you build and communicate trust, acceptance, and closeness.  Are the dynamics of your friendship consistent with those identified by researchers as discussed in this chapter?

I have a friend that attends University of California Berkeley and I consider him my best friend. In our first year apart, we didn't do much to stay in contact but when the breaks came by, we still acted like best friends as if everything was back to normal. This second year, we started drifting a little but we both have made and effort in keeping in contact through Facebook and text messages. Sometimes one of us would visit the other person for a weekend and catch up. I believe that we built trust, acceptance, and closeness by hanging out and socializing with each other. Over summer, we hung out with our entire group of friends every single night. We made a pact that we would go out every single summer night possible. Although this was a crazy idea, this allowed us to bond a lot more and develop trust, comfortableness, and bringing us closer night by night.I believe our friendship is very consistent with ideas like Engaging in duel perspective and communicating honestly. In order for both of us to maintain a good friendship, we have to be equivalent to each other in ways like honesty or respecting each other's ideas. We know that we're still growing throughout college and we try to respect what has grown on us.

Week of October 29 - November 4 Discussion Question #1

1). To learn how others view friendships and what issues arise in their friendships, visit the Friendship Page.  This site offers songs, poetry, and quotes about Friendship, as well as chat rooms and an advice forum.  To what extent do the issues raised in the advice forum reflect challenges to friendship discussed in this chapter?


I found a post on the Friendship page about an individual who is afraid of losing his friend. His friend was being tormented and bullied around school and thought about moving. Afraid of losing his friend, the individual decided to post a poll about whether he should say anything to his friend who refuses to speak to him. From this, i saw that the external pressure: geographic distance was present because he was afraid of losing his friend due to distance. It's a little hard to find legitimate posts on this website but that was all i could find. A lot of these posts I think are ads or virus websites. It's sad to see people lose friends and it's even worst for any one of us to feel that pain. From the transition of high school to college, many of us have lost friends because of geographic distance. Long distance friendships/relationships are never easy and it takes a lot of effort to stay friends.

Week of October 15 - 21 Discussion Question #3

3). Pick one concept from the reading this week and discuss it in detail.

I think one of the most important concepts from this week's reading is "Actively Use Communication to Build Confirming Climates" This concept emphasizes the use of what we learned in this chapter to create positive communication climates. Although this is a very general concept, it allows us to think about what language we can avoid or use more often to create a confirming environment. These skills are necessary for life because it helps us achieve relationships that could possibly last for the rest of our lives. Whether it may be a friendship or a loved one, this is equally important to both. We need to remember to avoid using the six types of communication that promote defensive climates such as "Evaluation Versus Description" and "Control Versus Problem Orientation." In order for us to achieve confirming environments, it is essential for us to take that first step by putting effort into using communication that promotes confirming climates.

Week of October 15 - 21 Discussion Question #2

2). Think of an interaction in which you felt disconfirmed or defensive.  Describe how others in the situation communicated toward you.  How many of Gibb's defensiveness-producing communication behaviors can you identify as present in the situation? 

One of most memorable interactions i've had that was disconfirming was when i broke up with my significant other. We were dating for about 2 years and the halt to the relationship was shocking to me even though it was my decision. That night I had a talk with my friend and he gave me a disconfirming environment at first. I think he had his mind on a few other things going on in his life but his first response was "There's plenty of fish in the sea." This struck me pretty harshly and i didn't feel like venting to him anymore. Shortly, he realized what was actually going on and start confirming me more often but the first statement still had its impact. In this situation i believe "Neutrality versus Empathy" was present because he wasn't pushing a certain side. His response was very neutral but thankfully he changed his way of speaking to me to be more confirming.

Week of October 15 - 21 Discussion Question #1

1). Have you found it difficult to confirm others when you disagree with them?  If so, does reading this chapter help you distinguish between recognition, acknowledgement, and endorsement?  Can you distinguish between confirming others as people and endorsing particular ideas? 

Most of the time it was pretty easy for me to confirm others when i disagreed with them. The only hard cases were the individuals that were stubborn and hard headed. I feel like confirming stubborn people does not change their way of thinking and therefore it leads to disconfirming. At times, confirming will work but most of the people that i have conversed with that were stubborn were very hard to get through to. I try my best to be endorsing to others but sometimes it's really difficult to phrase our words in that sense. After reading this chapter, it's helped me be able to distinguish between confirming others as people and endorsing particular ideas. This chapter made me think back to the times where i gave advice to my friends and I see that most of the time i was only acknowledging them. Surprisingly, when i first decided to take this course, i didn't think i would retain much from this course but it's nice to see the chapters that we have read so far really impact my way of thinking!

Responding Sensitively

One of the most important things every human being can work on is communicating emotions. We are responsible for so many things in our lives that we forget how to communicate with emotions effectively. I have seen many examples of friends who come up to other friends and rant about their problems. Of course, the other friend comes up with a very common and average response "It'll be okay, just wait it out." This does not comfort the person, it just tells them "Yeah, i heard your story but i can't do much so i'll just tell you that you'll be alright." This concept really spoke to me because i have been in situations just like that and I got sick and tired of responses like that. It is understandable that sometimes we truly have nothing to say but at least try it phrase your sentencing so it gives them the feeling that they have someone there that cares for them. I try, with the best of my ability, to comfort my friends when they are in a time of need because sometimes we really just need a helping hand.

Week of October 1 - 7 Discussion Quest. #2

2). Review the fallacies discussed in the last section of this chapter.  Do any of these fallacies show up in your intrapersonal communication?  After reading about the fallacies and ways to challenge them, can you monitor and revise your intrapersonal communication?  

I know a little bit of every fallacy shows up in my intrapersonal communication but thankfully it is not severe in any certain category. If i were to pick one to work on, it would be fear of catastrophic failure. I have a slightly tendency to have a negative outlook on life and it affects my confidence and ability to achieve my goals. I'm already trying to work on this part of me by working harder and putting more successful accomplishments in my life to boost my self-confidence. I think the best way to conquer all of these fallacies is that remember you are human and responsible for others to a certain extent, mistakes happen and goals are never impossible to achieve. There is no point in thinking negatively about ourselves because it will only hold us back from our true potential. I'm sure all of us are amazing people but a lot of us are held back with these fallacies. 

Week of October 1 - 7 Discussion Quest. #1

1). The book discusses different perspective on emotions.  Which perspective - of what combination of several - makes the most sense to you?  Why?  Explain how the perspective you favor gives you insight into emotions that you don't get from other perspectives. 

I think the perceptual view of emotions makes the most sense to me because I believe we have to attach emotions to physiological reactions. Like the example in our textbook, "We might interpret trembling hands as a symbol of fear...Alternatively, we might interpret trembling hands as signifying joy on graduation day" (Wood, 174). I definitely agree with this because we have so many physiological reactions that can mean different things. I have felt so excited i was shaking but i've also felt so scared that i was shaking as well. This gives me more insight into emotions than the organismic view of emotions because while the organismic view can be true, the perceptual view allows us to define the process of interpreting the emotion clearer. Yes, it's true that the organismic view can be correct because when we feel that knot in our stomach, it could be a sign of sadness but it can only be interpreted through the perceptual view of emotions. The organismic view is based on reflexes while the perceptual view is based on interpretation, which i think is more precise.

Week of September 24-30 Discussion Quest. #2

2). The International Listening Association (ILA) http://listen.org is a rich resource for learning more about listening and networking with others who recognize its importance in everyday life.  Its website features exercises to test and improve listening, factoids about listening, Internet discussion groups, quotes about the nature and value of listening, and a bibliography for those who want to read more.  Review "Listening is a 10 part skill", and report on what you learned: 

"Listening is a 10 part skill" made me realize I had a lot of listening skills to work on. I have learned that listening is actually so much more difficult than it sounds. A lot of what i read was very true and made perfect sense to me. For example, #6 Work at Listening, I thought that a lot of us could relate to this one because this is exactly what we have done in the past. Listening requires hard work, attentiveness, flexibility, and so many other qualities that we overlook in our everyday lives. It is funny to see how our world is made up of mostly poor listeners, just imagine what it would be like if we were all attentive and how different things would be. Lastly, this made me realize that I need to stop judging the person by how they speak but by their content. Their content may be executed poorly but their ideas could be amazing and out of this world. I feel like a lot of ideas are lost between the cracks of judgement by others.

Week of September 24-30 Discussion Quest. #1

1). Review the six types of nonlistening discussed in this chapter.  Are any of them common in your communication?  Make a plan to overcome this type of nonlistening you have engaged in.  Describe the type of nonlistenging you engage in, and discuss how you plan to fix is.

I definitely have had my fair share of non-listening. In the past, I have used all 6 forms of non-listening. That may not sound very pleasant but i feel like each type of non-listening is essential for different times through out our lives. Pseudo-listening is not being an attentive listener but sometimes we have a lot to think about on our minds. We will always have stressful phases where we are crammed with midterms or hours of homework ahead of us. Usually, when we are this busy, we tend use monopolizing because there are some things in life that worry us. For example, a passing family member, breaking up in a long term relationship, losing a close friend, and lastly losing your job. I don't plan to overcome these types of non-listening because i know we cant always live our lives to listen to someone else when ours is not doing very well at the moment. Of course, i will try to listen as much as i can but if i'm in a situation where my life is in a crisis, i will take care of that.

Week of September 10-16 Discussion Quest. #2

2). Visit the Free Speech Museum's Hate Speech Page.  What did you learn about how hate speech is defined, who engages in it, and efforts to regulate hate speech on the Web?  What should be done about hate speech on the Web and off it?  Should we censor it?  Would doing so violate our constitutional right to freedom of speech?  Are there other, perhaps less formal, ways to reduce hate speech?  

I learned that hate speech is defined as any form of verbal language or physical action that may discriminate against any other individual or organization. I'm sure that many of us have engaged in hate speech but we do not have the intention of hate toward that subject. I honestly think that hate speech is very poorly regulated over the web. I have been to countless websites and forums that have racist language and hate speech written all over it. In addition, i'm sure there are websites dedicated to racism and hate toward multiple ethnic groups. In all honesty, there is not much that we can do about hate speech on the web because it's so anonymous that individuals cant be held accountable. In terms of off the web, we could fine people for hate speech but that does not seem constitutional and people would have large complaints over this issue. Yes, we should censor hate speech because we don't want younger generations to pick up on it but it's inevitable and is very difficult to stop. There are ways to reduce hate speech but the problem is that it's already so integrated into our society that it is part of the norm. I admit hate speech is bad but most of the time it just helps us get rid of stress and half the time we never really mean it. (Or at least i don't)

Week of September 10-16 Discussion Quest. #1

1). Think about different metaphors for American society.  For many years, the country was described as a melting pot, which suggests that differences between citizens are supposed to melt down and blend into one unified character.  Recently, some have criticized this melting pot metaphor because it emphasizes wiping out differences, not respecting them.  The Reverend Jesse Jackson refers to the United States as both a rainbow and a family quilt.  Both of Jackson's metaphors emphasize recognizing and appreciating differences.  What metaphor would you propose?

I would propose a similar metaphor to Reverend Jesse Jackson because my family embraces American culture but Vietnamese culture as well. We still carry on old Vietnamese traditions like wearing formal Vietnamese clothing, cooking/eating Vietnamese dishes, and burning incense for the deceased. I think that America is described as a melting pot because due to racial discrimination, people always tried to fit in and tried to be someone they were not. Nowadays, we have china town or japan town and many other ethnic based societies/cities that carry on their own culture. I have to admit I have changed myself to fit into society, and in the process of doing so, I have wiped out certain differences between cultures for my own benefit. I feel that this isn't necessarily a bad thing because we learn and accept more about a culture that is dominant where we currently live. I feel like it's necessary for us to embrace different cultures but often times many traditions are lost along the cracks that rise up through our lives.

Week of Sept 3-9 Disc. Question #2

2). You may want to reread the section on race and identity in this chapter.  What is race?  Is race a useful way to classify people?  Why or why not?  Do you think the Census Bureau should allow people to check multiple races to define themselves? 

According to "Interpersonal Communication: Everyday Encounters" Race is considered a primary aspect of personal identity. To me, race is a way of labeling an individual for who he or she is in terms of where they came from. Race is a useful way of classifying people but in return stereotypes are made toward others. It helps us define or describe who we are but it also adds the window for negative aspects to be applied toward us as well.Yes, the Census Bureau should allow people to check multiple races to define themselves but they should be limited toward the number of boxes they can check. This will help solve the problem of people abusing their rights and stealing benefits from races they are not a part of. All in all, race is very useful to help us organize people but it's also a great way or organizing stereotypes and labeling people with attributes they may not have.

Week of Sept 3-9 Disc. Question #1

1). Talk with one man and one woman who are 20 years older than you.  Talk with one woman and one man who are 40 years older than you.  In each conversation, ask them to explain how men and women were expected to be when they were 20 years old.  As them to explain what behaviors, goals, and attitudes were considered inappropriate for woman and men when they were 20 years old.  Compare their responses with view held by 20-year-olds today.  Discuss your findings in a blog post.

For this discussion question I chose to speak with my parents and my cousins. Women in Vietnam at the age of 20 were expected to work for a degree and receive a higher education in order to live a richer and more fulfilling life because many Vietnamese families were already born in poverty. The parents wanted them to live a life better than the parents themselves. They were also expected to take care of the family and to make sure that there will be food on the table for others that work full time jobs. Some attitudes that were considered inappropriate would be disobeying rules and commands and talking back. Women lived a harsh lifestyle in Vietnam. As for men, once they have completed their education, at the age of 22 they were called for service to the army. My uncle being one of the soldiers, was expected to kill Viet Congs on the war front. Men were expected to get an education and if they could complete their 4 year degree before 22, they could choose to go toward a higher education that could possibly get them out of being on duty for the army. My cousin's lifestyles were completely different from the people i spoke to that were 40 years older than me. My cousin was expected to do normal house chores around the house while going to school for a 4 year degree. Their goals and expectations were not very far from our 20 year-olds today. Definitely, the men and women 40 years older than us would have very different lifestyles. Seeing that they were expected to serve the army due to war, I did not have to go through would that process. Today, I am expected to help around the house and to receive my 4 year degree. Once i have received my 4 year degree, i may choose if i want to go toward a higher degree or find myself a job. My goal would be to find a nicely paid job that is stable enough for a family.

Week 2 discussion

Introduction

For Week 1's discussion introduce yourself,
providing a brief biography, and welcome others. Also tell us your
“communication” story. What experiences in communication
studies have you had? What are your goals for the class? What do
you hope to get out of the class?

Hello Classmates,

I'm from San Jose, California. I have lived here all my life and I am a commuter and second year at San Jose State University. This is my first communications class that i have taken. This semester I'm taking comms 20, which is public speaking! I'm taking this class to complete a GE area. My goals for this class would be to complete the class with an A as a final grade of course! After completing this course I hope to understand human relationships a lot better because I've always been interested in why we feel differently over each individual in our lives. Although I am not a communications major, I saw this class as an interesting class to take while completing my general education requirements. I hope everyone has a good time taking this course.